Cambodia: Help starts from love

Meet Phalla and her family, whose committment to helping children with no family and no home is helping to pioneer the way for others – with the support of CAFOD partner Maryknoll

Outside, in the tiny courtyard at the back of his house, 19-year-old Leaph is cooking lunch for the family – all 13 of them.

He pours a landslide of rice into a vat of bubbling water and fries fish and frogs legs on a stove.

I have learned many hard lessons in my life and seen cruelty beyond words. But a positive aspect of this experience is my understanding of how people should be helped. Help starts from love. It’s as simple as that

Happiest surrounded by family

Beside him, 16-year-old Samphea is grinding chili flakes, spring onion and oil to make a sauce. Kim, 12, dashes in and out of the yard with cutlery, plates and glasses.

Standing in the doorway, Phalla looks proudly at her busy children. A mother to five of her own and eight foster children, she’s happiest when surrounded by her family.

It’s not always easy – escalating food prices in Cambodia have stretched their budget to breaking point – but Phalla wouldn’t have it any other way. “I manage this big family with love from the bottom of my heart,” she says.

All the children that Phalla fosters have been orphaned by AIDS. All have harrowing stories to tell.

Leaph brought his father to Cambodia’s capital, Phnom Penh, for medical treatment. Distraught and penniless, he begged for money to pay the hospital fees.

After his father died, Leaph had to fend for himself in a city he didn’t know. Samphea left school to care for her mother, nursing her until she passed away.

Kim worked in a market selling vegetables to support her parents when they were ill. When they died, she was just ten years old.

Phalla also knows what it is like to lose loved ones. Under the brutal Khmer Rouge regime, her father, a businessman, became a target. In 1975, soldiers broke into his home and executed the entire family – all except Phalla.

In the years after, she was imprisoned, tortured, and spent more than a decade in a refugee camp. Since then, Phalla and her husband Yoeun have committed their lives to helping children with no family and no home.

“I can see many parallels between my life and the lives of the children I care for,” says Phalla. “After my traumatic experiences I lost trust and faith in people. I was made to live in a terrible condition – like an animal.

"Some of these children have lived in the same way, but for very different reasons. The Khmer Rouge regime threw this country into crisis for years – now HIV is doing the same thing.”

As well as looking after her family, Phalla works for Maryknoll, a Catholic charity funded by CAFOD. Maryknoll provides shelter, medical treatment, food, education and training for people affected by HIV and AIDS.

In Cambodia – a country where some 75,000 are HIV positive and the government is simply not doing enough – it provides a vital, often life-saving, service.

“Before I started this job, I had no idea how bad the AIDS situation was – particularly for children,” comments Phalla. “Traditionally, extended families took in children that were orphaned. But now, with the double blow of AIDS and poverty, this is not often possible.”

Fostering is a relatively new concept in Cambodia but as the impact of AIDS is felt through the generations, it is becoming an urgent solution to the growing number of children who are left with nowhere else to turn.

Phalla and her family are helping to pioneer the way for others – with Maryknoll’s support. “Maryknoll gives me an allowance to buy extra food, clothes, medicines and all the things that my foster children need. It is still a big commitment to make, but this eases the financial burden,” explains Phalla.

As they tuck into lunch, sitting in a circle on the floor, the room is filled with the sound of laughter and the clatter of eating. “Having my family together like this makes everything worthwhile,” says Phalla.

“I have learned many hard lessons in my life and seen cruelty beyond words. But a positive aspect of this experience is my understanding of how people should be helped.

"Help starts from love. It’s as simple as that.”