What’s in a gift?

As the world rushes to buy the perfect gift, CAFOD's Theology Programme Advisor reflects on the best kind of presents, and the true meaning of Christmas.

In the current TV advert for John Lewis we see a young boy impatiently waiting for Christmas day to arrive, looking longingly at the clock, staring out of the window; we suppose that he is eager to open his presents. But there is a twist. On Christmas morning he leaps past the presents left at the foot of his bed, excitedly takes a gift out of his cupboard and runs into his parents’ bedroom with it. “For gifts you can’t wait to give” reads the strap-line.

On the surface, as Christians, perhaps we should be grateful that a major retailer is promoting a life where people take pleasure in giving rather than wanting, taking and grabbing. Looking deeper, though, it is obvious that in a shopping context we can only “give” if we first of all “buy”. In this advert, as in all others, the spirit of consumption and consumerism is never far away.

In the run up to Christmas our minds inevitably turn to gifts and the stress of buying presents. The stress can come from many sources but for many people today there is the pressure of not being able to afford to buy gifts for friends and family, or not being able to afford gifts which we think they would like. “Supposing they buy me something - which is worth more than I give them – that would be so embarrassing”, we think to ourselves. And yet, and yet... as I look back on my life, what are the gifts I remember? I remember a friend making a 100 mile round trip to pick me up from an airport and drop me home because I had hurt my back and couldn’t take public transport. I remember another friend throwing me a surprise party. I remember being greeted with singing and dancing by a group in Malawi – their gift was their song and dance - their hospitality and joy. All these gifts were not things that were bought, but were about relationship.

Relationship is what is at the heart of the Gospels as well. I am always struck by the relationship between Elizabeth and Mary, the cousins who spent three months of their pregnancy together, and whose children seemed to recognise each other whilst still in the womb. Little is said about the actual birth of John and Jesus. After John is born we learn that Elizabeth’s “neighbours and relatives heard that the merciful Lord had done a wonderful thing for her and they rejoiced with her” (Luke 1:58). Clearly a good gathering and celebration was had! With Jesus, we simply hear that as soon as he was born he was wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger (Luke 2: 7).

The gift of a child is not one we can take for granted however. The bringing forth of new life is a precarious process in which the life of both the mother and the child are sometimes at risk. This is truer in some countries than in others, with half a million women dying every year due to complications in pregnancy and birth. Aware of this fact, a couple of years ago four schoolgirls from Bradford came up with the idea to give mothers and babies a “pack for life”; the idea was acted upon by CAFOD and is now part of our World Gifts range. The four girls went to Nigeria to visit some of the women who were benefiting from the packs. One of the girls, Kimi Omolokun, aged 15 at the time, talks about her experience:

“If you hear about all the poverty and the statistics you can get a rough idea but the people you’re helping are mere numbers. There is no other way to get the full picture without seeing firsthand the degree of help these people need. All the children that were hugging us and shaking our hands were happier than the children here at Christmas. I have never seen anyone as happy to see me and I have never met these people before! We can do so little to give them so much and the gratitude they showed was tear jerking. I will never forget the smiles on their faces and the conditions in which they live.

The trip to Nigeria has opened my eyes and I wish people here would stop complaining about stupid things. I hope one day the world will wake up and poverty is eradicated because no one deserves to have to live like that when other people live like kings, no matter who they are.”

Kimi was aware of the statistics before she went to Nigeria, but in Nigeria she formed relationships; the statistics became people with faces and names. We can’t all go to Nigeria, but we can be in a relationship of solidarity with those whose existence is sometimes precarious. This Christmas, then, let us take the time to think about the gift of life – the gift of our own life, the gift of those around us, the gift of creation. Perhaps it will allow us to see that the “gifts we can’t wait to give” might not only be monetary ones – we can choose to bring life to others.

Give a gift that gives twice: CAFOD's World Gifts change lives>>

This article first appeared in the Catholic Times on Friday 23rd December.