Ending a culture of domestic violence

Chhuo Khom, (centre) with her son, comes for advice to CAFOD partner Banteay Srei about the domestic abuse she suffers from her husband [Annie Bungeroth]

Young wife and mother Chhuo Khom tells how learning about her rights as a woman in Seam Reap, Cambodia helped her to end the abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband

The first time Chhuo Khom, 23, was hit by her husband, it was after he came home drunk – a scene all too familiar to sufferers of domestic abuse the world over.

Khom was angry with him for spending the little money they had on alcohol, when the couple’s son was, in her words “weak with hunger”.

When her husband slapped Khom in the face, Khom was afraid – but not surprised.

“Men think that a woman is their property once they are married,” she says. “They think they have the right to hurt us.”

A culture of violence

Khom is not suffering alone. Reports suggest one in four Cambodian women have experienced abuse at the hands of their partner but, despite these appalling statistics, the Cambodian government has done little to stop the violence.

A law on the prevention of domestic violence, passed in 2005, has barely scratched the surface of such an endemic, and complex, violation of human rights.

Female inferiority is instilled at all levels of society in Cambodia - women receive a second-class education, marry early, and are expected to serve and respect their husbands.

Add to this the culture of violence – perpetuated by the brutal Khmer Rouge regime – which continues to reverberate in Cambodia. Often the shame of exposing marital problems is enough to keep women quiet.

CAFOD partner, Banteay Srei - which means "women’s place" in Khmer - is one of the few Cambodian organisations to focus solely on women’s rights.

Women from poor communities are taught to read and write, to set up village working groups, earn their own money, and have a say in village life.

This has helped them gain community respect, and some have even been appointed as village chiefs – the first step on Cambodia’s political ladder. And, as they begin to assert their rights, more are now saying "no" to domestic violence.

The second time Khom’s husband hit her, she reported him to the chief of her village - a big step. She says: “Before Banteay Srei came to my village, I wouldn’t have dared to get help."

The chief, Ean Poise, spoke to Khom’s husband and gave him a formal warning. If he becomes abusive again, she will help Khom to notify the police.

Poise has seen a steady rise in women reporting violence. “Male leaders often don’t take much notice of women’s issues,” she says. “It is easier to solve the problems in this community now women are involved in leadership.”

Banteay Srei has also created peace networks for men to teach them about women’s rights and human rights. They are also trained to act as counsellors and mediators.

One of these mediators is Hai Hean, who says: "Men were not respectful of women. Women have always been told they must listen to their husbands, no matter what he is saying. Now we are learning to listen to each other.”

“No woman should have to suffer violence,” adds Poise. "The women in this village are blossoming because we have found our voice. I hope we can inspire others to do the same.”