The strength to forgive

"I realised all Rwandans must live together, in harmony," says Eugenie.

Forgiveness has transformed communities in Rwanda where once hatred wreaked havoc. Trauma counselling and solidarity projects supported by CAFOD are helping heal Rwanda's wounds as Roisin Sullens reports.

“Muraho!”

As we entered the Rwandan village of Musha, I tried out the greeting in the national language, Kinyarwanda. We were meeting a group of women who form part of a CAFOD-funded organisation called Avega, which supports widows and orphans affected by Rwanda’s 1994 genocide. The leader of the women in Musha, called Feza, smiled broadly at my attempt at ‘hello’. It may sound faintly ridiculous but I was surprised to see her smile.

Before the trip, my first with CAFOD, I had been told that people in Rwanda didn’t smile. I had been told I would hear the most appalling stories of man's inhumanity to man, that I would witness trauma, and that I would probably need counselling when I returned.

I did listen to harrowing testimonies of murder, mutilation, robbery and rape; people did speak about the devastating effects of trauma on their lives. Indeed, Feza’s husband was arrested and killed, and she lives with HIV because of being raped. But she was able to smile. And behind her smile was the most amazing capacity for forgiveness and the most extraordinary desire for reconciliation I have ever encountered. People in Rwanda are willing to forgive. And not just paying lip service to reconciliation, but practicing true forgiveness, which is enabling Rwanda’s wounds to heal after the genocide that saw close to one million people killed, mostly by machete.

I travelled to Rwanda with my colleague, Sarah to see how CAFOD-funded projects are helping local people transform their lives there. Sarah met Eugenie and Joseph who were born in the same village, went to the same school, and were friends. “We felt like sister and brother,” says Joseph.

Eugenie says: “In 1993 we were in the same church group. My family considered Joseph’s family as friends. I still don’t know how things changed so quickly.”

In April 1994, the shooting down of President Habyarimana’s plane near the capital Kigali sparked an almost coordinated attempt by the Hutu government to eliminate the Tutsi population and any moderate Hutus.

“The leaders of the regime told us we had to kill others because they had shot the president,” recalls Joseph. “Each day, we were bombarded with instructions on the radio and in the papers to “kill, kill, kill”. Those in power were telling us to kill people and we had no choice. We would be murdered, if we didn’t murder. What kind of choice is that?”

Joseph lead a gang to where Eugenie’s brothers were hiding in the bush. Five of them were brutally murdered. At first Eugenie was full of hate and wanted to kill Joseph herself. "I thought that if all the murderers in Rwanda were killed, the country would become clean again.

“But where would that lead but genocide all over again? In a way, we had all become victims, whatever side you were on. I thought: ‘I survived and you survived. We must find a way to live together’,” says Eugenie.

While receiving trauma counselling from CAFOD’s partners, Eugenie realised she didn't want to be bitter forever. "I realised all Rwandans must live together, in harmony, if the country is to survive." And so, after many months of seeking her pardon, coming to her village every week, Eugenie granted Joseph her forgiveness.

Healing and solidarity

We are called to “forgive those who trespass against us” but in reality isn't that an aspiration? I've forgiven people for lots of things, just as people have forgiven me. But to forgive someone who has killed a member of my family is not something I'm sure I could do. Weren't we all in awe when Gordon Wilson forgave the killers of his daughter Marie who was murdered by an IRA bomb in Enniskillen? Weren’t we amazed when Margaret Mizen, the mother of London teenager, Jimmy, forgave the 19-year-old who murdered her son?

But even these courageous people didn't live their lives in the same village as those people who had brought them such pain, seeing them, hearing them, watching them every day.

Yet this is not uncommon. It's everywhere; people who have suffered because of the most terrible crimes, and yet forgive and live side by side with the perpetrators in hope of a healed Rwanda.

Meanwhile, across the country, another CAFOD partner, Uyisenga n’Manzi, is working with orphans; children who have lost parents to the genocide, and to HIV; children who head up households of younger brothers and sisters. They come to Solidarity Camps, where they learn, develop skills, play sport and share similar experiences with other children. And the songs they sing promote a new Rwanda, one that appears full of hope and empty of division. And, like Feza and Eugenie, they smile; with seemingly no hatred in their hearts for those whose actions have meant they live without loved ones, but rejoicing in the life, in the opportunities God has given them.

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